#34- Paint the Sunset

So I did this one awhile ago. This was the view from our house in Mexico.

Farenheit 451

Well because of my new job I have a whole lot of time to burn doing nothing so I started to knock off some books on the list. I came across Farenheit 451 and thought it would be a good one to start. I really enjoyed this book and that's saying something because I absolutely hate to read. I really would rather do anything else.
Well, this book reminded me of the movie Josie and the Pussycats, even though it's a dumb movie. If you've never seen it, don't waste your time; I will sum it up in thirty seconds for you. An evil ad corporation uses an all-female pop band to subliminally slip advertisements into the minds of the youth across the nation. That's about it. Even though this book was written in like 1950, I still think it's amazing how much it applies today. He got it right on. "Frightening in its implications. . . Mr. Bradbury's account of this insane world, which bears many alarming resemblances to our own, is fascinating."- New York Times.
It took me awhile to catch on that this takes place in the future and it really is close to what is reality today. Wall to wall televisions in every home that people spend countless hours watching as if the sitcom actors were "family". Fast cars that get people to their mindless jobs as quickly as possible. Even presidential voting for outward appearances above merits. "I voted last election, same as everyone, and I laid it on the line for President Noble. I think he's one of the nicest looking men ever became president."
As sad as it is to think this is our reality, I realize it is very much so. I immediately thought of Apple, the Kardashians, MTV, countless other companies and people telling us what is cool and what isn't. We really can't have opinions anymore. We may think we do but we don't. Our opinions are given to us and they change weekly.
The book about banning books that promoted freedom of thought was banned. Ironic?

Idiots... (You know who you are)

I have a bone to pick with idiots. I have been meaning to post this for some time now and I am finally getting around to it. I am trying to sell one of my four vehicles that I currently own and I have it listed on ksl. So I get texts for it every now and then and this one was especially good. And by good I mean retarded. I am sorry for the politically incorrect term but I initially thought this guy was a twelve year old girl. But when I found out he wasn't this was the only other logical explanation I could think of. He's got some serious mental issues. So anyway here's the conversation. His are in red.



2:47pm- D u still have the subaru?    (ps this will be verbatim and pps does it really take a ton more time to write do you?)

10:45am- I do. Would you like to come take a look at it

11:00am- Do you have the subaru ?

Yes

I thought you sold it?

It turned out he didnt have the money

Oh i'm busy now but i'll text you in a little bit.

Ok

2:01pm- Hey where u at in orem

Kinda by Harmons on 8th north

I'm kinda busy till about 4 though

Oh well maybe tonight then cause i had sometime now d u go to uvu (I guess it does save time)

I did

Oh by chance u know or u know at what time is the devotional today (Why sure, let me look that up for you. Anything else I can do for you today?)

I would imagine probably like 7

Ussualy where at ?

I'm not sure

Can u find out please i alredy try to calling but no one answer (it was sunday)

I don't have internet right now sorry (that's a lie, I have an iPhone)

Do you know anyone you can ask

2:37pm-No sorry

4:14pm-Thanks do you have time to show it this afternoon

Yes I'm free right now till about 530

4:39pm-How about around 7 (what part of till 530 don't you understand?)

I can't till about 830. Sorry

Well tomorrow then

Ok. I work till about 8

5:12pm- Can it be before dark? (I guess it was the "till" he didn't understand)

I WORK TILL 8

Two days later, 9:25pm- Hey u still have it

I do. Do you want to take a look at it?

Yep but during the day let me know if works tomorrow befo8re

Yes. Anytime before 3

Next day, 3:45pm- Are u available in a couple of hours?

4:07pm- At about 7ish

Ok

5:52pm- Hey so is it A clean title and have no problems?

Yeah it's clean and everything runs great

k 7 it is then! my phone is dying so i might call you a little after 7

Ok

6:42pm- Golden corral at 7ish (yes sir)

You can't come to my house?

Nop id have time

Well then I might be a little later then 7. I'm still at work

Ok but hurry we need to see still with day light

Ok. But are you most likely going to buy it?

Yep there is good chances i think

Ok I'll bring the title and everything


7:12pm- Where are u

I just got off work sorry. I'm coming

Are u going to be here soon or are u waisting my time?

7:30pm- I'll be there. It's getting dark though. Do you still want to

Yes come

Ok

Two phone calls, one of which I answered and he said " What the heck? Are you coming or not?"
To which I replied, "Chill dude, I'm driving."



7:35pm- Where to heck are you?

I'm still driving

Are you still there

Yes

Sorry

How long until u get h ere

I'm just pulling up

I'm here

Dude I'm leaving

If you want it I'm not gonna bend over backwards for you. You can come to me

And next time don't be such a douche



I really wonder about us as a civilization sometimes and I am afraid for my kids.

Ironman Pics

Ironman Louisville 2011

Well, to date this has been by far the most expensive and time consuming goal worked on.  Naively, I did not expect this when I signed up in January. I thought I would just borrow a bike from Wilson, keep running like I was doing every once in a while, and swim a couple times a week in a local apartment pool to train. I found out quickly that I was so wrong. I signed up on January 19, 2011 for the Ironman Louisville. I began researching training plans online and settled on a 20-week program from beginnertriathlete.com. You will notice that this is the first hit in a Google search for “free Ironman training plan”. I was going for cheap here. After all I was a beginner triathlete and this was my first triathlon and also my first time competing in any type of race since I ran a charity 5k in the seventh grade.  I started riding indoors in February with Matt Wilson and of course learned all about heart rate zones and other nonsense I really didn’t care about. My official training began in April and I decided to take a swim lesson from the rec center. That helped quite a bit and I found out I was way off on my concept of swimming efficiently. I guess the best thing I could do now is to list off an expense and time report just to see exactly how much training I went through to get this far.

Ironman Entrance Fee- $614.00

Swim Lesson- $30.00

2 months of gym membership- $60.00

Swim Suits- $45.00

Goggles/Swim Cap/Nose Clip/etc.- $37.00

Nutritional Supplements (not including gels, etc.)- $40.00

Biking Clothing (tri suits, shorts, etc.) (this does not include the stuff I stole from Matt)- $265.00

New tires- $70.00

Flat kit and countless tubes I went through- $60.00

Running socks- $24.00

Two pairs of running shoes- $160.00

Garmin GPS Watch- $120.00

22 8-packs of Gatorade- $65.00

Energy Gel- $55.00

Salt pills- $10.00

Gas to get to Louisville- $400.00

Hotel in Louisville- $70.00

(Bike, helmet, shoes,etc., borrowed from Matt)- $3000.00

Total- $5125.00

This trip had been all about cutting it close. I got an email a couple days before the race from the producer of the Ironman live TV show saying that he wanted to interview me and that I was like one of twenty people that he chose because he liked what I put on my application. I don’t even really remember filling it out because it was like one in the morning. So we had to adjust our leaving plans. I had planned to get there Saturday so I booked a hotel for Saturday night. Which was fine except we had to be there Friday. So we drove all Thursday night in order to make my interview at 2:00. But we ran into a whole bunch of closed roads due to the Missouri river flooding. This caused way more anxiety than I wanted before an all day race. So due to some really fast driving the last three hours we made it into Louisville and I ran to the hotel where it was being done. He was on the last one when I showed up. He was glad to see me because he especially wanted to ask me a few questions and put me on the live feed. We talked for a little bit about my bucket list and why Ironman and then I recorded some short clips for commercial breaks and such. And that was that. Then I met up with Trevor and Cristen and I checked in, which was all a blur cause they just pointed me to the next tables I needed to go to and quickly explained the waivers I had to sign saying I wouldn’t sue if I died or something. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, on to the solution of being in Louisville with no place to spend the night. We planned on staying on the church lawn but the branch president put his foot down on that one. I didn’t see what the problem was but oh well. While I was at the welcome dinner and mandatory athlete meeting that night, Trevor found us a place to stay at the mission president’s home. I felt really kind of alone at the meeting and knew that was probably how Sunday was going to turn out. Well enough about the boring stuff; I’ll get to the race. I woke up at 4:00 in the morning, showered, and had as much of a bagel as I could stomach. I mixed up some energy drink and downed a whole Gatorade and a 5-hour energy. I was ready to go. I went and visited my bike one last time to put my bottles on and pump up my tires. As I was pumping up the rear the valve stem came out with a loud pop and I thought oh this is off to a great start. Luckily it didn’t shoot out and it was just in the cap. So I was off to the start where I got my number and age markered on my arms and legs. I thought we got there pretty early since it opened at 5 and it was like 5:15 but we were like 1500^th in line. I decided that didn’t matter since I wasn’t really in danger of not making the 2 hour 20 minute swim cutoff time. At 6:50 the cannon went off and the official race time started as the pros entered the water. At 7:00 the pushers started throwing people off the dock and I was in the water by like 7:10. As always, I thought I was going to drown during the first 300 meters or so but that was normal for me before settling into race pace. As I swam it just felt like I was going so slow but I would look behind me every once in a while and there were still people behind me so I was good. As I rounded the island I made the mistake of trying to clear my goggles of fog and didn’t get a very tight seal and started to leak water. One more stop fixed that problem and I was ready to bang out that last 1000 meters. Except that it felt like I was swimming through concrete. My shoulders and triceps were on fire, but as I swam under the last bridge I could see the thousands of people cheering us into transition and I caught my second wind. The volunteers grabbed me and I was just so happy I wasn’t at the bottom of the Ohio River. I ran to the changing tent, which was just a bunch of naked guys on folding chairs. No one was really talking so I tried to lighten the mood by asking a couple people how the water was. Nobody thought I was funny. So I put on my shoes and helmet, turned on my watch and ran out the door to my bike. I grabbed it and clipped in at the road and I was off. My shoulders were still a little tight when I went down into aero position and I realized I should have taken the time to stretch a little bit. The first 12 miles were flat and my plan was to take the first 40 or so easy so I would be fresh for the run. I was feeling confident on the bike because I had spent the most time training on it and I could cruise at a speed that would let me finish at around six hours. As I hit mile three, my foot came unclipped from the pedal, which is weird because it usually takes a hard twisting force, like a crash, to come out. When I looked down I stared in unbelief as I saw the whole left side of my crank attached to my shoe. I thought there is no way this could be happening. I got off and see if I had the tools to fix it but the bolt had fallen out and was who knows where. So after some bad words, I realized that the next aid station was three miles away and it was my best shot to find a bike tech. I put the right side in as far as it would go and started pedal with one pedal as hundreds and hundreds of bikers passed me saying “that sucks”. You think?  I had to stop every couple hundred feet to put the chain back on because my pedal stroke pulled out the crank making it fall off. But I finally made it to the aid station and yelled for a tech but there wasn’t one there. They got on the radio and asked for a tech that had an extra bolt but the nearest one was about half hour away. As I sat down still in unbelief, knowing deep down that I probably wasn’t going to finish, a kid said, “You can’t just ride with one pedal?” I know he was just trying to be funny but I wanted to punch him in the face. Instead I said nothing. That half hour turned into two as the tech finally showed up on the scooter. I jumped up and asked if she had a bolt. She looked through the bag and luckily had one that fit. I thanked her deeply and I was on my way again. As I was riding out the 30 miles to do my two 30 mile loops and a ten mile out and back before heading back to transition, I saw the pros coming back into town and thought wow, this is embarrassing. Yeah, they are that fast. I knew the course really well and according to the reviews I knew exactly what I was up against. Rolling hills. I just would like to say that they were rolling but they definitely favored the uphill part a little more. I knew I had to start on lap two by 2:30 so I was pushing myself to make the deadline. So much for taking it easy on the first 40 miles. My nutrition plan was also failing because I left my watch running at the first aid station so I knew what my total time was which meant I had to do a lot more math and averaging than I was capable of at the moment. I had also mentally checked out as I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself and it was really hard to get back on the bike after that happened. I can’t even say how many times I went back and forth on quitting or not. I knew it would be embarrassing to go back without even trying so I pushed harder. Which also threw off my nutrition plan. As I rode through the town of LaGrange, through the Ironman festival, the thousands of cheering fans and supporters, I looked for Trevor and Cristen. I rode though so fast I didn’t even get a chance to see them. That also took a toll on me mentally. At about mile 45 I started to cry and I didn’t even know why. I was frustrated and tired but I knew that if I kept crying I would lose much needed fluid and I needed all that I could keep in. I pushed up the steepest part fairly easily and stopped at an aid station at about mile 57. I said I was still on the first lap and he said I still had an hour to go the 4 miles. I had this no problem. Except I had to do all those hills again. And my legs were starting to turn to jello. And I had no idea how fast I was averaging since my watch took into account the two hours I was stopped. So I watched it creep up from 6 past 10 to 12.5 average I had to do more math every few minutes to find out my average speed. I asked the guy what time the final cutoff for the bike was and he thought it was 5:30. I quickly did the math and realized I had to go about 60 miles in about 3 hours. That was way faster than I was capable of but I set off to do my second lap again. As I turned left to go through LaGrange again the roads were like a ghost town. There were no screaming fans, no loud speakers, everyone had cleaned up and gone inside or back to Louisville to cheer on their athlete. I saw Trevor and Cristen and I explained what happened and that I didn’t think I was gonna make the final cutoff. Once again, the decision to quit bounced around in my head a few times. It helped to see them though. I pushed on and passed a biker every now and then. I rode with a guy for a few miles when I happened to ask if he knew when the final cutoff for the bike was. He said 6:20, we have plenty of time, don’t worry about it. So here I was, pushing harder to keep a 20 mph average when I still had an extra hour to finish. More wasted, more dizzy, and more determined to at least start the run. As I turned to start the final 30 miles or so back into town, I was happy that it was mostly downhill. There hills every once in a while but not like the ones on the out and back or the loops. I coasted at about 30 down them, which was a little scary because I was down on the handlebars and dizzy so I stabilized with my knees and didn’t pedal. On the hills the bike would have trouble shifting and dropped the chain every couple of miles or so. More time wasted. I reached the 100-mile sign and screamed. It was flat from here all the way in. I saw Cristen and Trevor right before the timing mats and I yelled, ”I need Wendy’s. I’m being serious. Come find me at the start of the run.” I was so hungry and my stomach couldn’t handle any more gel. I walked into the changing tent once again and I was super happy. I made it with 40 minutes to go. I knew I could just about walk a six-hour marathon. I threw on my shoes, grabbed a coke, and was once again out in the hot sun. I started out walking the first mile like my original plan and I told Trev to find me a hamburger or a bean burrito or something solid. I got to the 2^nd St Bridge to run to Indiana and back and was feeling strong. My revised plan was to run at about a 12-minute mile as much as I could and then walk for a minute till I couldn’t do that anymore. My legs felt great but my stomach was getting worse and worse. I knew it was going to be a problem later on. At about mile 6 my watch gave up and died. Great, more math. Every mile checkpoint I asked what time it was to figure out my average. I could do 15-minute miles, which is a fast walk and could make it by about 11:40, the cutoff to finish being midnight. I was so happy I was going to finish and I felt great other than crying every other mile. I don’t even know why because I was fine. At about mile 10 I was getting worse and I could no longer run which was my buffer zone for time. It was then time to walk. The worst part was I was walking with everyone who was on their second lap and was about to make the turn to head to the finish line. People kept yelling words of encouragement to me. “Just 3 more miles. You can do it! Finish strong.” I still had another lap to go. I didn’t say anything. At mile 12 my arms and legs went numb. It felt like I was suffocating. My stomach was cramping and I was dizzy. I asked what time it was at the aid station and figured out I had dropped down to a 17-minute mile. At that point I knew I was not going to make it. I also forgot to get food and water at that aid station. I continued on to mile 13 where I knew Cristen and Trevor would be waiting and I could tell them I was calling it. Just before the 13-mile mark I must have looked pretty horrible because I was all over the road and a lady asked if I was feeling alright. I said yeah and about 30 seconds later a cop came up to me and said I needed to sit down. The lady grabbed me some water and I got it down. He then called me a medical truck to take me to the medical tent and I said I was done. I threw up a couple times out the window as soon as we started going. It was the most horrible stomach pain I have ever experienced but I felt a lot better afterward. I was happy with my effort. As I sat on a cot with an IV in, getting injected with stuff for nausea, I realized that I would have to do this all over again someday and that is what upset me the most. That and it was kind of embarrassing to be a featured athlete and then not finish, but I don’t care anymore.  I’m not mad or even disappointed. I set goals for myself and I met every single one of them except for finishing and I tried to reach it until I collapsed. Part of the reason this was on my bucket list was to see exactly what limits I could push my body to. I did exactly that. I know now that I can take exactly 13 hours, 47 minutes, and 44 seconds of extreme physical, mental, and emotional activity. 

 

Training Hours

Week	Swim	Bike	Run	Total
1	1.7	3.3	3.0	8
2	2.2	3.8	3.0	9
3	2.2	4.5	3.3	10
4	1.7	3.3	3.0	8
5	2.5	6.2	3.3	12
6	3.5	6.5	4.0	14
7	4.0	7.5	4.5	16
8	1.8	4.0	2.7	8.5
9	6.3	3.0	1.7	11
10	2.3	3.5	6.7	12.5
11	1.5	11.0	1.5	14
12	2.0	4.0	2.5	8.5
13	2.8	7.0	3.7	13.5
14	3.0	7.5	5.0	15.5
15	3.8	8.0	5.2	17
16	3.0	9.5	5.5	18
17	2.0	4.8	3.2	10
18	1.5	8.5	3.0	13
19	1.3	5.5	2.2	9
20	1.3	2.2	1.5	5
Total	50.4	113.6	68.5	232.5

#14- Purchase an Original Piece of Art

My artist friend Emily painted this awesome picture for me. It's called "Hammock in the Woods". This picture doesn't really do it justice so you have to come see it in real life. Well it's official. I have some class and I now own an original piece of art. Maybe it'll be worth something someday. I promise I won't sell it..(unless it's worth like 100,000 or I'm really broke). So thanks Emily for helping me cross one more off the list.

Well it's been awhile..

And since this originally was supposed to be a place to put my pictures, here are some of my favorites from this year. Enjoy

pics cont'd...

JetBlue- All You Can Jet Pass

So it's been a crazy month. I don't even feel like real life anymore. In case you didn't know, I bought an unlimited flight pass and covered pretty much the whole country. I'm reminded of a quote from Fight Club, one of my favorite movies and from which I got the title to this blog.

"You wake up at SeaTac. SFO. LAX. You wake up at
O' Hare. Dallas Fort-Worth. BWI"

     
                             ATTENDANT
                 Check-in for that flight doesn't
            begin for another two hours, Sir.

"Pacific, Mountain, Central.  Lose an hour,
gain an hour.  This is your life,
and it's ending one minute at a time.

You wake up at Air Harbor International.

If you wake up at a different time, in a
different place, could you wake up as
a different person?

Everywhere I travel -- tiny life.
Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream,
single pat of butter.
Microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit.

Shampoo/conditioner combo. 
Single-serving mouthwash, tiny bars of soap.

The people I meet on each flight -- they're
single-serving friends.
Between take-off and landing, we have our
time together, but that's all we get.

Which brings me to my next point; I've met a lot of interesting people all over this country. Some, not even from this country. I've met business owners, salesmen, mechanical engineers, MLM groupies, Swiss vacationers, and some just downright crazy people. I've seen things I've never seen before and I've experienced things I probably won't ever experience again, and it's been fun to say the least. So drop whatever it is you're doing, and get out there and see America, cause there's some pretty cool stuff to see out there.

This is inspiring...

yet kind of makes me depressed how a guy with one leg is still a way better skier than I am. Makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong.

#33- Bike across the Golden Gate Bridge

#82- Spit off the empire state building

#39- Get on TV

#36- Take a star map and see how many constellations I can find

So this post is dedicated to my good friend Jay Riley who gave me this sweet piece of astronomy equipment called a stellarscope. I highly recommend getting one. You can basically set your latitude and the time and date and look at a view of the sky complete with constellations. Also I couldn't have accomplished this goal without the help of Marissa. Also we decided that whoever named these constellations were pretty heavily into the opium, cause we honestly didn't see Pegasus or Hercules.

#17- Buy a custom tailored suit

(artist's rendition of Jordan)

Alright, alright. So this is not really what I had in mind when I came up with this goal because I originally had in my mind a suit made from scratch. But I did buy this new suit from Macy's and it was custom tailored to me so I'm gonna go ahead and count it for now. (until I can get my other made from scratch suit)

#18- Try an Oyster

I think the pictures pretty much explain it all... Thanks a lot WinCo for selling me the biggest oysters imaginable.

Just in case you were wondering...

Click on it to make it full screen

So I made a complete fool out of myself in class today...

when I read this and laughed out loud. I thought it deserved a post. Just don't read it in a setting that you can't laugh like a funeral or in a courtroom. Judges have no sense of humor.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.



This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?" Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.