Well it's been awhile..

And since this originally was supposed to be a place to put my pictures, here are some of my favorites from this year. Enjoy

pics cont'd...

JetBlue- All You Can Jet Pass

So it's been a crazy month. I don't even feel like real life anymore. In case you didn't know, I bought an unlimited flight pass and covered pretty much the whole country. I'm reminded of a quote from Fight Club, one of my favorite movies and from which I got the title to this blog.

"You wake up at SeaTac. SFO. LAX. You wake up at
O' Hare. Dallas Fort-Worth. BWI"

     
                             ATTENDANT
                 Check-in for that flight doesn't
            begin for another two hours, Sir.

"Pacific, Mountain, Central.  Lose an hour,
gain an hour.  This is your life,
and it's ending one minute at a time.

You wake up at Air Harbor International.

If you wake up at a different time, in a
different place, could you wake up as
a different person?

Everywhere I travel -- tiny life.
Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream,
single pat of butter.
Microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit.

Shampoo/conditioner combo. 
Single-serving mouthwash, tiny bars of soap.

The people I meet on each flight -- they're
single-serving friends.
Between take-off and landing, we have our
time together, but that's all we get.

Which brings me to my next point; I've met a lot of interesting people all over this country. Some, not even from this country. I've met business owners, salesmen, mechanical engineers, MLM groupies, Swiss vacationers, and some just downright crazy people. I've seen things I've never seen before and I've experienced things I probably won't ever experience again, and it's been fun to say the least. So drop whatever it is you're doing, and get out there and see America, cause there's some pretty cool stuff to see out there.

This is inspiring...

yet kind of makes me depressed how a guy with one leg is still a way better skier than I am. Makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong.

#33- Bike across the Golden Gate Bridge

#82- Spit off the empire state building

#39- Get on TV

#36- Take a star map and see how many constellations I can find

So this post is dedicated to my good friend Jay Riley who gave me this sweet piece of astronomy equipment called a stellarscope. I highly recommend getting one. You can basically set your latitude and the time and date and look at a view of the sky complete with constellations. Also I couldn't have accomplished this goal without the help of Marissa. Also we decided that whoever named these constellations were pretty heavily into the opium, cause we honestly didn't see Pegasus or Hercules.

#17- Buy a custom tailored suit

(artist's rendition of Jordan)

Alright, alright. So this is not really what I had in mind when I came up with this goal because I originally had in my mind a suit made from scratch. But I did buy this new suit from Macy's and it was custom tailored to me so I'm gonna go ahead and count it for now. (until I can get my other made from scratch suit)

#18- Try an Oyster

I think the pictures pretty much explain it all... Thanks a lot WinCo for selling me the biggest oysters imaginable.

Just in case you were wondering...

Click on it to make it full screen

So I made a complete fool out of myself in class today...

when I read this and laughed out loud. I thought it deserved a post. Just don't read it in a setting that you can't laugh like a funeral or in a courtroom. Judges have no sense of humor.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.



This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?" Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

#46- See a Drive-in Movie

Speaking of drive-in movies, I highly recommend seeing Inception. It was one of the better movies that has come out in a long time. But don't see it if you're dumb cause you won't understand it and I really don't want to be responsible for explaining it to you. Also I am inspired to make my truck the ultimate drive-in vehicle. Let's just say that plans for a bench seat and a dolby surround sound system in the bed are underway.

#56- Get in the Guinness Book of World Records

#26- Frolic Through a Field Naked (yes there's a picture)

It was actually quite enjoyable. This goal has inspired me to create a separate naked list of things to do before I die.

(contact me if you want to see the video)

2 more down...

Well it's goal time again and I knocked out two last night. Thanks to Ryan Freeman for the video and the pics. Enjoy

Me becoming one with nature. FYI this step is required for walking on hot coals

#32- Sleep in a hammock in the mountains

#100- Walk on hot coals

I'm running out of clever titles

Yes, they sell them in the bookstore.