Yearbook Highlights

7th Grade

-"Wuz up Jordan? -Robbie Q."
- "Gluch, Keep it clean and in the pants. -Ben"
- "Careful with the cold water. You don't want too much shrinkage. -Dan R."
- "Have a fun gay summer with your gay friends. Ha Ha Ha Numbskull"

8th Grade

- "You suck. I probably will not ever see you again -Matt W."
- "Jordan- Have a great summer! Stay away from my house! -Laura"
- "Jordan You're a brat! You're hot though! heart/ Sarah R."
- "Bow down to Satan!!! j/k stay cool -Sean"

9th Grade

- "hey dude! you're way awesome and weird, but that's alright! call me -Kelse M.
- "Jordan Go get them tiger Peace Love Rock N Roll all of the good thing just remember to relax love Dave"
- "let's mate -anonymous"

11th Grade

- "I spend a long time wondering whether you were a jerk or just being funny. I still can't really tell. - Mary"
- "Jordan, Hell ya bitch ass - anonymous"

12th Grade

- " Glue j/k, You're so dang cool!! Have a nice summer! You have cool hair! Mary W."
- "Glutch we should kiss :) -Zack"

Prescription Drug Safety

Well, after many biology and physiology courses, I have come to realize that the human body is amazing. There are so many things our bodies can do, but when they can't, that's where drugs help to fill the void. Drugs can be very useful, although sometimes dangerous, so I've put together a few safety tips to keep in mind before your next visit to the pharmacy.

• Prescription drugs should be kept far out of reach of children, even if they cry, "Please, please, may I have my medicine?"


• Some people say you should not exceed the recommended dosage on the bottle. But, come on, it's medicine–it's good for you.


• If you take medication daily, a useful accessory is a seven-day pill case, which helps you keep track of your intake and serves as a depressing symbol of your mortality.


• Never mix prescription painkillers with alcohol, unless you like to party really, really hard.


• Most people don't realize how much pharmacists enjoy haggling over the price of medications.


• To reduce the risk of mix-ups at the pharmacy, bring a bat with a nail in it.


• Most pills should not be taken on an empty stomach. Sprinkle a handful onto a salad.


• If your pharmacist doesn't offer to have one with you right there in the store, it's probably been stepped on.


• If your doctor refuses to write you a prescription for fear of "lawsuits", and hasn't responded to threats, there's a TON of pharmacies just south of the border. It's cheaper there anyway.

Remember, drug abuse is no laughing matter. Except when it's somebody you don't know.

Women can do anything men can do...

...except math, chess, running,


jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things,

making money, hockey, surfing,


driving, making decisions, being tall,

taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose),

reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country,

inventing anything important,

or being fun to hang out with.




Don't get me wrong, I love women. I just think they should drink from a separate water fountain. Actually, women may be even better than men. But we'll never really know since they are always


swinging at bigger balls, hitting from closer tees, doing pushups from their knees,



taking half the beatles money, hos please.

You know you've been at BYU too long...

...when all you look at anymore is left hands. I look at the left hand even before glancing at the face(which is very unusual for me because I'm very shallow). I guess what I'm getting at is this- This girl(9.5) came and sat next to me in class today and what I considered to be moderate flirting took place. Halfway through the conversation I glanced down and to my sorrow there it was, diamond encrusted lies. So basically my take-home message is this: "Dammit! You got what you came for, you don't need to be in school anymore." BYU would be a lot better off without married females.

Who needs calculus?

Not me.. I'm done..
(P.S- this is the only math you will EVER need to know)

All Growed Up

For the very first time in my life I feel like an adult. I probably should have felt this way about 4 years ago when I left for Peru but let's be honest, it's me. I am writing this from Portland where I am currently looking at a dental I hope to get in to. When it hit me. I AM AN ADULT. Maybe it was the tour that got to me and I caught myself thinking, "This is where I will live and go to school for fours years by myself(unless that special someone comes along). And I can do that because Portland is an awesome city with one of the best burger places I've ever eaten at. I do have a list of things that Oregon in general can work on but I will cover that later. I think just being by myself this weekend made me realize this is for real. Pretty much my entire future depends on this. It's not a big deal. Anyway, I loved Portland, some of the best scenery I've ever seen, but as for my complaints, you guessed it my....

LIST OF GRIEVANCES

1. Why do you not want me pumping my own gas?

First, it makes me feel like a man to fill up a gas tank and change my own oil and manly things of that nature, and second it's just dumb. I mistakenly forgot this law as I pulled into a local gas station and jumped out to fill up my tank when the attendant came running over as if someone had just thrown a lit match in my direction. It possibly could have all been in slow motion too. So he took over and to make an already awkward situation even more awkward, I just stood there without saying a word looking at him. Ha ha, I love making people feel awkward. Speaking of laws I accidentally broke this weekend...

2. A 55 MPH SPEED LIMIT?!!!! ON THE FREEWAY?!!!! COME ON Oregon, you used to be cool, what happened to you man?

Yes, I used four exclamation points for each statement, because that's just how upset I am over this whole matter. You crazy freaking liberals. You're not gonna save any more trees by lowering the speed limit and thus reducing those tree murdering emissions. In fact just to show my disapproval, I'm going to go cut down 20 trees for no good reason, one for each mile per hour your speed limit should be and isn't. There ya go. Are you happy now? Innocent trees are dying because of you. I just might go pour some used motor oil all over some baby seals too. What's even more ridiculous is when they catch you doing 75 in a 55. Maybe Officer Felts' wife had just left him or maybe he just found out he had cancer because he was not happy to see me. Cheer up big guy. You can beat this. Unless you have pancreatic cancer then you have about 6 months. Good luck Officer Felts and thanks for being an a hole. You made my trip much more pleasant. Well, that pretty much sums it up for my list of grievances. Portland, you are awesome and I hope to see you in a year.

PS you might want to fire Officer Felts. He's really bringing down your image.
PSS Congratulations on no sales tax. I was quite surprised when my taco meal stayed under three dollars. Keep up the good work.

Another Day of Calculus

I really don't want to go...